The faculty of making stupid discoveries by accident. The name of my first Fantasy Football Team. Neither of which have anything to do with this blog. I just like the word. Deal with it !!!!!!

OK, I’m here.

Today I took my real first step into the blogging world.  I announced via email and Facebook that my blog was ready to be seen.  I have been a little nervous about “exposing” it to all my friends and family because sometimes I think some of them think that I dwell too much on having had cancer.  To anyone who thinks that please try to understand that surviving cancer changed my life.  Not only health wise but in every other aspect.  For the last four years I have tried to forget about that fateful day Dr. James Russell Scott told me “We have a problem dear”, but no matter how hard I try, it won’t go away.  And that’s not a bad thing.  Having cancer made me see things that I had never seen before and not just metaphorically. Until I was diagnosed I didn’t even know what Esophageal Cancer was.  I knew about the kindness of strangers and had witnessed it occasionally but never understood the impact it could have.  I knew the concept of Pay it Forward, but had never used it. 

So, for the record, surviving cancer is still a daily battle I live with. Eating issues, sleeping issues, guilt issues, pain issues, breathing issues – the list goes on and on.  For me Esophageal Cancer did not end with my “No Evidence of Disease” report from my Doctors.  What it did was start a new chapter of Living With EC.  A life, I hope, will last a long time.

So the next time you hear me say “When I was sick…”, please don’t roll your eyes or look at me and say “But you are not sick anymore”. Please listen to what I have to say with an open mind.  

I lost two years of my life that I can never get back.  Please don’t expect me to just forget about it.


2 responses to “OK, I’m here.

  1. Maggie January 26, 2009 at 9:18 am

    So the next time you hear me say “When I was sick…”, please don’t roll your eyes or look at me and say “But you are not sick anymore”. Please listen to what I have to say with an open mind.

    This quote right here, is what smacked me right in the face, If I hear one more person, well he doesn’t have cancer anymore… and do they realize that on a daily basis we have a chance of it coming back with a venegence. Or as you stated how can we just forget the horror we have gone through and if you expect us not to talk about it you are mistaken, we need to talk about it. we need to find a way to move on and if it bores you or you just don’t want to hear it again then move on you really didnt care about us or the fear of it returning.

    Pay it forward… I have done this my whole life and will continue to. silent is the way I enjoy it, do something nice for someone and dont even take credit.

    Thank You for inviting me to your Blog Nancy I will be back

    Maggie 42 yr old wife mother caregiver and provider. to 46 yr old Keith still NED with complications daily.

  2. serendopeity January 27, 2009 at 7:29 pm

    My usual response is “until you walk a mile in my shoes…”

    For just one day I would love to eat a real meal, drink a whole cup of coffee without nuking it 4 times, sleep lying down, be pain free and not feel guilty when some one I know doesn’t make it.
    For just one day, I would love to be able to pick up my purse with my right arm, walk my dog, and not have to burp every 10 seconds.
    For just one day I would love to be able to not worry if that pain in my side is an old one or a new one caused by the mass that still sits on my kidney stem.
    For just one day I would love to be “normal” and forget that I ever had cancer.

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