The faculty of making stupid discoveries by accident. The name of my first Fantasy Football Team. Neither of which have anything to do with this blog. I just like the word. Deal with it !!!!!!
36. I would love to have my scars tattooed but I am a chicken.
I have always wanted a tattoo. In my younger days I even went as far as to make an appointment and show up. Half in the bag I might add and with some anesthetic pads to numb the area that I was going to be tattooed in. I wanted a dolphin on my left boob. Ok not a great mental image for y’all I know but still that was the plan. I even had one of my best friends go with me for moral support. In hindsight it was probably a good thing that the woman who was to do the tat didn’t show up. I found out later she was a heroin junkie and this was way before the days of AIDS. God knows what if anything I would have contracted from her and her tattoo shop.
I would like to state for the record now tha the reason back then that I was afraid was that I was scared to death of needles. When I was 17 I had surgery on my ankle to have a pin set in. In a 24 hour time frame I became a human pin cushion. I didn’t take to anesthetic too well and I was as sick as a dog. So every 4 hours they shot me up with gravol. Additionally I was also given painkillers by injection. Again every 4 hours. After that I hated needles. I would go to the ends of the earth to avoid them. Not as far as I would go to avoid the dentist but pretty damn close.
Later in my life, when my “Big Bro” Kyle was living with me I decided that I would try the tattoo thing again. Kyle had tats and he hated them but that was not a deterant for me. His were of the “jailhouse” type and pretty crudely done. They were also in very prominent places – on both his forearms so he spent alot of time in long sleeves. We went to a tattoo parlour on the Lakeshore in Toronto to get some information. It was also at that time that I thought perhaps I would like to get a piercing. We won’t discuss where – needless to say it never happened. Nor did the tattoo, Kyle basically talked me out of it. If there was one thing Kyle could do it was talk me in or out of anything. LOL. This led to some heated discussions that usually ended with me storming out of the room and swearing that I hated him. He would just laugh at me and tell me “Come on you know you love me” and he was right. I could never hate him and he was one of the few people who could laugh at me and not have something thrown at him. But I digress…
So I moved to Brighton tatless. Fast forward to December 2004 when I had my EC surgery. I have three major scars from the surgery. One is about 6 inches long and runs from just under my left ear to mid collar-bone. A second runs from my right back shoulder blade down and under my right breast and the third is straight down my mid section from just below my cleavage to my belly button. All three of them have healed very very nicely and I have been lucky that they have also faded quite a bit. However, I still know they are there. At first I used to let them bother me. But no more, they are my battle scars and thus far I am winning the battle so they are not a big deal.
Originally I wanted to get Tarzan swinging from a vine tattooed on the scar on my back. I am not sure why – it’s not like I have a thing for Tarzan. I just thought it would be cute because the scar would be a natural for a vine and if I was going to have a vine, they better be a Tarzan swinging on it!
The scar on my neck was more of an issue – it would be visable to everyone who looked at me. So it had to be tasteful but at the sametime a little wacky because after all it is Me we are talking about and well I can sometimes be a little wacky. I never did come up with anything that I thought was both so I figured if the time came I would leave that one alone.
I had great plans for my stomach scar. I was going to get it done to look like a zipper!!! For my first appointment back to the surgeon after the first year of my surgery I put on a fake tattoo of a zipper next to the scar. I knew he would want to see the scars to make sure they had healed so putting it on top of the scar was out of the question. After chatting with him for a couple of minutes he asked me to go and put on a robe as he wanted to see the scars. I almost didn’t make it without laughing, I knew he was going to freak LOLOLOLOL. And he did. The first thing he said when he saw it was WHAT THE HELL????? I told him very straight faced that just in case he ever had to do it again he wouldn’t have to cut me open, just unzip me. Ted was not amused until I rubbed a corner of it off with my finger. To this day I wish I had a picture of his face when he saw it…it would be worth mega dollars on E-Bay to anyone who ever had him as their surgeon. Don’t get me wrong, I love the man but I know of others that can’t stand him on a personal level. It’s just how he is. But to me he was always wonderful – I was his poster girl for EC and he always calls me kiddo. I did exasperate him at times with my questions, especially in the recovery room after my surgery but in the end he always answered them. I never did get any of them tattooed. I was afraid. Not of the needles anymore but rather what people would say.
However I am passed my fear of what others think for the most part. I am 48 years old, an adult, although I sometimes refuse to grow up. My newest idea for a tat is one of the infamous “ribbon” that you see all the time for every cause there is. The original yellow ribbon made famous by Tony Orlando and Dawn when it was tied around the old oak tree is now a beacon for every cause known to man. Mine will be periwinkle blue, not yellow, as periwinkle blue is the colour of EC Awareness which is very close to my heart.
Mine will be on my shoulder prominent enough to poke out when I wear something sleeveless which isn’t a whole lot of times. My work in the gym was limited when it came to my right arm due to the surgery so it did not get very much “into shape” as I had hoped. While my left arm was exercising with 8 pound weights, I could never get past 3 pounders with my right arm so it won’t be all that visable to many people. Which is ok – I am getting the tat for me not for anyone else.
I once saw a man on TV who was the most tattooed man in the world. There was not an inch of space on him that wasn’t tattooed. Not an inch!!!! The interviewer asked him the number one piece of advice he would give anyone getting a tat. He said – never get anyone’s name tattooed on your body unless it was “MOM”. He said that relationships come and go, people move on but tats are forever. They then asked him why people get tattoo’s. He said that men get tattoo’s to show off. Women on the other hand get tattoos for personal reasons. He said “Show me a man with a tattoo and I will show you a man with a story to tell. Show me a woman with a tattoo and I will show you a woman who is secure in her role as a woman and doesn’t need to prove it to anyone. Men will have their tattoo’s placed so everyone can see them. Most women have theirs placed so only they or the person they are closest to can see them.” I thought that it was an awesome quote. So I shall have mine put where it is barely visable to the world at large and rarely visable to anyone but myself. Unless of course you want to see it and then it will cost you. They are fairly expensive and I have to defray the cost somehow.
I know many people with tats now. My neice Maggie has beautiful ones on her back. I think that before the year is out I will have mine done. In fact I might even have it done very soon…