The faculty of making stupid discoveries by accident. The name of my first Fantasy Football Team. Neither of which have anything to do with this blog. I just like the word. Deal with it !!!!!!
One more parking validation stamp and the new ER will carry my name!!!
I feel like a country song. If it wasn’t for bad luck I would have no luck at all!
This afternoon mom, dad and I went to the Passport Office to submit applications for their passports. The closest Passport Office is about 1 1/2 hours away and in the same mall is this really neat store called Hart’s. It is a department store but not as upscale as say, The Bay or Target but they always have good sales so while we were in the neighbourhood…
Before I go on I would just like to quantify my stupidity – as if there is a good reason for stupidity, however…Since having EC and the subsequent chemoradiation I have been a little clumsy at times. My feet do not always do what I want them to do and on more than one ocassion I have fallen flat on my face or my butt. When all the treatments were over I went to a specialist to find out what the problem was. In addition to some neuropathy in my lower right limb I also has spinal stenosis between the 5th and 6th lumbar discs. What this means is that the discs are slowly closing up around my spine. This may sound terrible and I guess if I live to be 80 or 90 it will be but for the time being it just means that on ocassion the transmission of signals in my body misfire and I am momentarily unable to move. It does not last for long – a coupleof nanoseconds at most but it is a strange feeling and sometimes I fall down and go BOOM!
Whether it was this or something else today (like stupidity) remains to be seen however I ended up tripping over a display in the store. While my right leg was wrapping itself around the display tower my left arm was clutching some wooden shelves. The shelves were those small triangle shelves that look like they are floating on the wall – and when I hit the floor, on of the points stuck up into my ribs. My right foot got smashed by a falling display tower…After 2 minutes and the realization of how dopey I looked I picked myself up and I was fine. My foot hurt and I thought I had broke a toe, my left wrist was sore but I could move it. My right wrist and right forearm hurt from trying to break the fall, but all in all I was ok and could walk – no harm no foul. Dad was upset that I had fallen and tried to help me up – that was even funnier – he can barely walk and he is trying to help me up LOL. At the time I was more worried that someone had saw my fall and was laughing at me – rule number one – you cannot laugh at someone’s falling down until you know that they are ok!!! And it seemed as though I was ok. That changed in the car on the way home.
Of course I didn’t dare tell mom and dad in the car that I was in pain – it would have just added to the confusion that comes with taking mom out of her comfort zone to a new place so I kept quiet all the way home.
By the time we got home I was in excruiating pain. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to walk, it just hurt…
It was late in the afternoon and I knew that Craig would be home soon, so the minute he walked in the door I told him I was off to the ER, he was in charge of dinner.
In the last 4 weeks I have been to the same hospital 5 times. Between dad and the ER visits and his hospital stay and my CAT scan I am becoming a fixture at Trenton Memorial Hospital. I swear that if I get one more parking stamp validation I am going to ask them to name the ER after us! The wait in ER this time was not very long at all. Not like last time when we left after 5 hours and not seeing a doctor.
(Now I know for all of you anti-Obama and anti-Universal Health Care in the US people, you are rubbing your hands together and saying “See, it doesn’t work” but I can tell you from first hand experience that I would not be here if not for the Health Care System in Canada – but that’s a whole other blog topic!!!!)
Tonight I saw a Doctor, had an Xray and was home again in less than 2 hours. Oh ya, and it was FREE!!!!!!
Diagnosis – I have a cracked rib, thus the pain breathing and moving and a badly bruised foot. So not only do I have a noticable limp now, I also have to fold my left arm across my chest to limit the movement and the pull on my ribs. This is in addition to holding my right arm like that for the better part, since it doesn’t work properly and hasn’t since the surgery. I laughed at the Doctor when she offered me pain killers – I told her that unless it was something other than Demerol or Morphine save the ink in her pen because I had lots at home. In fact, one of my main concerns that took me to the ER was I was worried about taking the Morphine as it can cause breathing to slow down and I was afraid that if I had hurt my lung not just my rib I might not be waking up tomorrow morning…and that would not be good. I can see my obit now – survived deadly cancer, died from tripping over a store display. Not how I want to go out!!!!
So tonight I am in horrible pain, more than usual and I am afraid to go to sleep. Not because I am afraid I won’t wake up but rather I know how much this is going to hurt in the morning.
The worst part isn’t the pain though. I have lived with pain since 2004. I have so many responibilities and things to do that pain just slows me down and makes it more difficult to get on with the day. The laundry and grocery shopping doesn’t go away just because I hurt. Meals don’t miraculously appear on the table and the car doesn’t drive itself. And no, I am not complaining, that never gets me anywhere anyway so why bother LOL, I don’t have time to be on the disabled list!!!!
For the next couple of days I am supposed to take it easy, relax and make sure I breathe deeply to ward off pneumonia or fluid on my lungs. Been there done that and don’t want to do it again. And to ensure that I am able to breathe deeply pain free I have been instructed to take as many pain killers as it takes. For the first time in a long time I am almost tempted to follow doctor’s orders to the nth degree. That has not been been something that I am accustomed too; I am more of a push the envelope kinda gal, just to see how far I get. I am convinced that, along with a whole lotta of luck got me this far in my cancer journey and I am afraid to stop now.
But, in all honesty I am tired. I am burnt out. It is becoming more and more difficult to find the energy I need on a daily basis and if I feel like this at 48 years old, how am I going to make it to 80?????