The faculty of making stupid discoveries by accident. The name of my first Fantasy Football Team. Neither of which have anything to do with this blog. I just like the word. Deal with it !!!!!!
Conversations with my Mother.
Me: Good Morning Mom. How are you today?
Mom: Just peachy. What’s for breakfast?
Me: What would you like? Toast, crumpets, cereal. Name it, we probably have it.
Mom: Oh yes, that sounds good.
Me: Hey mom, where’s your glasses?
Mom: Right where I left them, where I always leave them. I’ll go get them.
(5 minutes later)
Me: Did you find your glasses?
Mom: No. I don’t believe this place.
Me: Those darn dogs have been at it again have they? I will have to talk to them. They are always putting your stuff away where we can’t find it.
Mom: Don’t be stupid. The dogs can’t reach the dresser drawer, even I know that. Someone must have took them in the night.
Me: Oh ya, that’s it. Someone came into the house last night while we were all asleep and out of all the stuff in here, some of it worth a lot of money, the only thing that was taken was your glasses.
Mom: What’s for breakfast this morning? I am famished.
Mom: Is there any coffee left?
Me: Yep, its in the coffee machine in the kitchen.
Mom: Finish your breakfast, I’ll get some.
Me: Do you remember how to use the coffee machine? (note – The coffee machine we have has no pot. It’s a Brew Station whereby you press the mug against the bar and the coffee comes out.)
Mom: Do you think I am stupid? Of course I know how to use the coffee machine. I wasn’t born yesterday.
(Mom goes into kitchen – returns emptyhanded).
Me: Would you like me to get you a cup of coffee?
Mom: No, I couldn’t eat or drink another thing, I’m full. I think I will have one of those things.
Me: What things mom? Can I get you something?
Mom: I said I would have one of those.
Me: One of what?
Mom: You know, one of those doodad things.
Me: Let me get you a coffee Mom.
Mom: Thank you, that would be great. I never pass up a cup of coffee.
Mom: The dogs are on the bed.
Mom: I am just telling you. I just made the bed and they jumped up. That little guy sure can jump high. The big brown one must be getting old. How long have you had him?
Me: 6 years in September.
Mom: I thought he was older than that.
Me: He is 7, I got him when he was a year and a half old.
Mom: I remember when he was just a pup and would jump up on my lap.
Me: (laughing) He was a little bit bigger than a pup when I got him mom. He already weighed 75 pounds.
Mom: Well you should stop feeding him. He is getting too big and I don’t think a puppy should be that big. What does the doctor say?
Me: The vet says that you shouldn’t give him part of your breakfast every morning.
Mom: I don’t.
Me: Well mom, yes you do.
Mom: Well someone has to feed him. He is always hungry. You should give him more of his food and then I wouldn’t have to give him mine.
Me: Ya mom, you are right. I will get on that right away.
Mom: So whats on the agenda for today?
Me: You have your ladies group at 1:00 and while you are there dad and I are going to go to Sue’s for a coffee.
Mom: Have I ever been there before?
Me: Sue’s house or your group?
Me: Yes you have. You have been to both on several ocassions. We used to go to Sue’s every Thursday after lunch to play BINGO.
Mom: I play BINGO? I don’t think so. I haven’t played BINGO in ages. Are you sure it was me that was there?
Me: Actually mom, you are right. It wasn’t you. It was your evil twin sister.
Mom: My sister? I don’t think so. I don’t have a sister so it must have been someone else who went with you.
Me: Ya mom, it must have been.
Mom: I like it when we play BINGO. I always manage to win at least one game.