The faculty of making stupid discoveries by accident. The name of my first Fantasy Football Team. Neither of which have anything to do with this blog. I just like the word. Deal with it !!!!!!

Conversations with my Mother.

Me:  Good Morning Mom. How are you today?

Mom:  Just peachy.  What’s for breakfast?

Me:  What would you like?  Toast, crumpets, cereal.  Name it, we probably have it.

Mom:  Oh yes, that sounds good.



Me:  Hey mom, where’s your glasses?

Mom:  Right where I left them, where I always leave them. I’ll go get them.

(5 minutes later)

Me:  Did you find your glasses?

Mom:  No.  I don’t believe this place. 

Me:  Those darn dogs have been at it again have they?  I will have to talk to them.  They are always putting your stuff away where we can’t find it.

Mom:  Don’t be stupid.  The dogs can’t reach the dresser drawer, even I know that.  Someone must have took them in the night.

Me:  Oh ya, that’s it.  Someone came into the house last night while we were all asleep and out of all the stuff in here, some of it worth a lot of money, the only thing that was taken was your glasses.

Mom: What’s for breakfast this morning?  I am famished.


Mom:  Is there any coffee left? 

Me:  Yep, its in the coffee machine in the kitchen.

Mom:  Finish your breakfast, I’ll get some.

Me:  Do you remember how to use the coffee machine?  (note – The coffee machine we have has no pot.  It’s a Brew Station whereby you press the mug against the bar and the coffee comes out.)

Mom:  Do you think I am stupid?  Of course I know how to use the coffee machine.  I wasn’t born yesterday.

(Mom goes into kitchen – returns emptyhanded).

Me: Would you like me to get you a cup of coffee?

Mom:   No, I couldn’t eat or drink another thing, I’m full.  I think I will have one of those things.

Me:  What things mom?  Can I get you something?

Mom:  I said I would have one of those.

Me: One of what?

Mom: You know, one of those doodad things.

Me:  Let me get you a coffee Mom.

Mom: Thank you, that would be great.  I never pass up a cup of coffee.


Mom:  The dogs are on the bed.

Me:  And…

Mom:  I am just telling you.  I just made the bed and they jumped up. That little guy sure can jump high.  The big brown one must be getting old.  How long have you had him?

Me: 6 years  in September.

Mom: I thought he was older than that.

Me:  He is 7, I got him when he was a year and a half old.

Mom: I remember when he was just a pup and would jump up on my lap.

Me: (laughing) He was a little bit bigger than a pup when I got him mom.  He already weighed 75 pounds.

Mom:  Well you should stop feeding him.  He is getting too big and I don’t think a puppy should be that big.  What does the doctor say?

Me:  The vet says that you shouldn’t give him part of your breakfast every morning.

Mom:  I don’t.

Me:  Well mom, yes you do.

Mom:  Well someone has to feed him.  He is always hungry.  You should give him more of his food and then I wouldn’t have to give him mine.

Me:  Ya mom, you are right.  I will get on that right away.


Mom:  So whats on the agenda for today?

Me:  You have your ladies group at 1:00 and while you are there dad and I are going to go to Sue’s for a coffee.

Mom:  Have I ever been there before?

Me:  Sue’s house or your group?

Mom: Both.

Me:  Yes you have. You have been to both on several ocassions.  We used to go to Sue’s every Thursday after lunch to play BINGO.

Mom:  I play BINGO?  I don’t think so.  I haven’t played BINGO in ages.  Are you sure it was me that was there?

Me:  Actually mom, you are right. It wasn’t you.  It was your evil twin sister.

Mom:  My sister?  I don’t think so.  I don’t have a sister so it must have been someone else who went with you.

Me:  Ya mom, it must have been.

Mom:  I like it when we play BINGO.  I always manage to win at least one game.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: