The faculty of making stupid discoveries by accident. The name of my first Fantasy Football Team. Neither of which have anything to do with this blog. I just like the word. Deal with it !!!!!!
Tag Archives: attitude
To Be 6 AGain…
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.
‘I’d like to be six again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror .
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure!
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear, what was it like being six again?’
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
‘I meant my dress size, you jerk!!!!’
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
Happy Memorial Day Weekend to all my US friends (and enemies). Please take a minute to remember what this weekend is for and say Thank You to anyone you meet who served or is serving your country!Nancy
I was blog surfing last night and came across this blog. I was very impressed by the writing. This post put into words what so many of us feel and think but cannot figure out how to say it – Keith Ng has done an excellent job in saying it!!!!
I asked Keith if I could repost this on Serendopeity and he agreed. I wanted to post it here as I think it can help many of us explain how we feel. I don’t know about you but I sometimes have a hard time putting into words how I feel about a lot of my cancer experience. I can talk about Esophageal Cancer until I am blue in the face, but trying to explain how I feel personally about the disease is sometimes a futile attempt.
So with Keith’s permission I present:
LEAP OF FAITH
To all cancer warriors and their family members:
Cancer does not and will not define who you are. It is just a part of life. Everyone of us have our own trials and obstacles. But it does not define who you are. If you have goals and dreams that you want to pursue, don’t stop. Go ahead and accomplish what you want. Just because you are restricted in some ways, it does not mean you’re restricted completely. Don’t stop living. Set your goals. This is just your particular journey, your particular experience. You may have to modify the way you can achieve them, but complete them in the best way that you can. Just be realistic as well. Keep going, while knowing what your limitations are. Having cancer, of course, it is inevitable that you have days which you don’t feel comfortable and needs more rest. Get ready for this. Have as much right nutrition as you can and ask as much questions from your doctor and fellow fighters who have been through what you will be going through. In any case, even the average person falls sick on certain days. It just simply means that you have to learn to adapt to some changes into your life. Addressing cancer may be a difficult issue, because even if you choose to ignore it, it is still there and it still changes things. But at the same time, it also doesn’t change things. It’s hard to explain. Most survivors would still be the same person as they were in many ways, but at the same time also not. They may appear different, feel different and think a little different. But then again, even if for someone without cancer, he would also probably look, feel and think differently after a few years as well. The first thing that you have to do is to get yourself as educated as possible on your situation. I know that with the prognosis, it can be quite hard to get your thoughts clear, but you got to make an informed course of decision to see how you can get yourself treated with the best possible options. Life gains a certain urgency when you have cancer but it will focus your mind on what’s really important in your life. There are a lot of things you can learn from having cancer. It’s kind of bad that we have to have a disease like this to learn so much. We would have wished that we could have learned the things we know now without having to go through it. But that is part and parcel of life. Everyone knows that you never know how many tomorrows you have left. But it changes you somehow when you are actually being told that you have something that you can die from. It changes the way you look at things. It changes the way you approach things. It changes the way you feel about everything. But those are not bad changes. Cancer is not good, but sometimes the things that evolve from it can be very positive. Having that realization would make us reevaluate and prioritize the things that are really important to us. Whenever events or specials occasions have been planned for, go ahead and realize it. Don’t put off vacations or any other time with your family if you would like to. Being a cancer warrior gives you something that the average person doesn’t have. You learn to value and love life more. You appreciate friends and family more. It helped you to not sweat about the small stuff anymore, which the average person can be so miserable about. You will have a greater understanding of what it means to be alive and to appreciate the suffering that other patients have been going thru. And when you finally come to the point whereby you can proudly say that you have been through something really horrible and you overcome it, you might want to spread the light. There are two ways to spread the light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. Be a source of inspiration to other warriors. Everyone who got to where he is had to start from where he was. Now that you have come a long way to learn how to manage cancer, you might want to guide others and bring them through this the way that others have done so for you. Share your experiences to fellow warriors who might need your knowledge on certain issues that comes along. Alternatively, simply introduce fellow warriors to people whom you know can be of great help to them. Every small act that you do will be critical to their recovery phase. Nevertheless, uncertainty is an issue that you will have to learn how to grapple with. It can cause a lot of frustration and anger. That is normal. You might be wondering if you are going to live to an old age. But then again, think about it. Even if you have not been diagnosed with cancer, there is also no guarantee that you would live to an old age. Life itself simply has too many uncertainties and cancer is just one of them that are made known to you for now. There are people out there unaware of the illness that’s within them, but are still living lives to the fullest. The same should go for us. It is those people that live with the false sense of illusion that they are going to live forever, that are going to have a lot of regrets in their life. One day, you life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching. Humans have a strength that cannot be measured. This is Keith Ng. By reading this, you are the resistance. The future has not been written. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves. Never stop fighting. The battle has just begun.
Leap of Faith
Keith Ng Zhi Wei
Not bloody likely but I would like to think that it will.
I am back from Minneapolis. What an awesome time and incredible weekend. I will be writing about it later this week (I hope). Unfortuneatly life has once again thrown me a curve ball and I am still trying to hit it out of the park to no avail.
If I drank I would be drunk. If I smoked dope I would be high. And if I had any room in the freezer I would fill it with Chunky Monkey and eat it all!!!!!
Doris’ husband Joey left me a voice mail tonight as I was not home to get his call. I did try and call him back, but it was late and I am sure that he and the rest of the family had a very long day so I will relay what I know so far.
Adam went into surgery this morning at 8:30, with his mom, Doris following a couple of hours later. Apparently Doris was more sick that the Doctor’s had thought but that did not stop the transplant from going ahead.
As of about 7:30 pm EST tonight, Adam was doing well but there was no real word on how Doris is doing. I am hoping that I will be able to speak to Joey tomorrow morning and I will post as soon as I know anything.
Again, I would like to thank all of you who granted my request for Jean, Doris and Adam. I truly believe that there is strength in numbers.
I hope to see Jean Wednesday night at the Pampered Chef party if she is feeling up to coming. My bronchitis is in the last stages (I hope) and my antibiotics are almost gone so I am feeling confident that I am not longer a threat to anyone’s health but perhaps my own LOL.
On Saturday mom, dad and I went to our local Leon’s Furniture SuperStore and I purchased a dishwasher. One had been in the house originally but after 20 years of service it finally bit the dust. Landlord Man had promised a new one and when he didn’t deliver it became a point in my “grievance” against him with the LandLord Tenant Board. The findings of the LTB were that although it was an appliance and according to the ACT appliances must be replaced if unable to be repaired, a dishwasher was not seen by the member (judge) to be an appliance under the ACT, therefore they were not allowing my claim to a dishwasher. OK – fair enough I guess. I understand that one can live without a dishwasher – for some it would be a major pain – but at the same time an appliance is an appliance is an appliance, is it not? Anyway I refused to appeal my case on various points although I know I could have won. But, that also could have put me into a “bad” place with the LTB and if I need them again I could be up the proverbial creek for questioning their interpretation of the ACT once. So – I bought one. It is mine not the Landlord’s and in the event that I move I will take it with me. The dishwasher was to be delivered today. One of the reasons I like Leon’s is that there is free delivery on all purchases. This may be a small potato thing but hey – if I am going to spend money in your store then ya, I want you to deliver it (if I can’t take it with me) at no charge.
This morning at 8:15 while I was still in slumberland the phone rang – it was Leon’s. They would be here between 11:00 and 1:00. Good – lots of time to get up, get breakfast ready and still lots of time to amass some more dishes to use in the new dishwasher…
Like clockwork, they arrived just after 11:00. The delivery guys at Leon’s are very nice, very courteous and respectful of hardwood floors, walls and the whole nine yards. They bring the dishwasher in and I ask them to leave it in the dining room – I want to wash the entire floor in the kitchen before it settles into its new home.
For some reason, I am not sure what, I thought I had better check and make sure that the manual and the hook up attachment for the tap were in the dishwasher. Well, guess what??? They weren’t. I had watched the salesperson, Adam, put the package in the d/w on Saturday. I had purchased the floor model – it was $80 off the regular price and made sure the manual et al were included. Like I said I watched the salesperson put it in the top rack of the d/w while we were standing there.
The delivery guy made a call – Adam would not be in until noon but he would call me when he got in to make arrangements for me to get the package. Thanks guys – good job, you get a scooby snack.
I took mom to her group this afternoon and dad and I went to WalMart to pick-up stuff and kill an hour. When we got home I checked the phone. No call from Adam and it was almost 3:00. Ok – now I’m a little upset. So I call him. Oh ya, he says I was going to call you. I will leave the package at the service desk. You can pick it up whenever. Stunned I mumble ok thanks and hang up. That’s when the full force of Nancy’s Anger shows up and the realization of what I have just agreed to hits me.
BACK UP THIS BUS!!!!!!
I pay you almost $600.00 for an appliance that I wait 3 days to be delivered and when it is, it is missing “parts” that I now have to drive 20 ( 40 return) miles to pick up?????? What is wrong with this picture? Or am I totally delusional in thinking that the correct thing to have been said would be something along the lines of – Hey, we messed up. The delivery truck will be in Brighton again tomorrow and I will have them drop it off. Or maybe, gee I’m really sorry that the guys in the back took it out. I will have that to you right away. Or even better, I am really sorry to have inconvienced you this way – when you pick it up there will be a $50 Gift Cert off your next purchase. And he knows there will be a next purchase – as soon as he entered my phone number on Saturday into the Big Brother computer all my Leon’s purchases came up (and they have been quite considerable in the last year). But No – Adam says, you can pick it up whenever.
Well Adam – I’m pissed and I’m loaded for bear. If you are not in the store tomorrow when I pick up the package, your manager is going to get an earful. I am so sick of this and similar situations. Are people who are “behind” the counters of various stores, shops and the like not consumer’s themselves? Is this how they would accept being treated? And if it is, what the hell are they thinking? Or is it me? Am I too picky for my own good?
My first foray into working at a Call Centre had me at Sears Canada. I worked in the department where people called in and we made appointments for them and their broken down appliances. It was eye opening to say the least and at times I could truly SYMPATHIZE with these callers – not empathize as we had been told to do. See, if my $1500 washer broke down and I had a house full of screaming kids and loads of laundry to do and someone sweetly told me that it would be at least 2 weeks till they could have someone there to fix it – Ya, I would be pissed too. And people were, all the time. “I’m sorry Maam, I can understand your frustration at not having a (fill in the appliance blank) for 2 weeks. Unfortunatly, we are very busy and that is the earliest I can have someone out to your home”. Blah, Blah, Blah. Oh ya, I truly can understand your frustration because if I paid Sears a pile of money for an appliance they had better well have someone out here tomorrow to fix it. That meat in the fridge freezer was not free and I have no where else to put it!!!!!!
So customer’s frustrations became my frustrations. In fact, one day I totally sympathized too much with a customer. Her front load washer was leaking for the second time since she had bought it 8 months ago. It was still under warranty but she was getting sick and tired of having to have it repaired all the time and what was going to happen when the warranty was over??? I feel your pain and very good question. So I tell her “You know, Sears has an unconditional guarantee. If you are not satisfied with your purchase it can be returned for a full refund and in all honesty I would call my salesperson and demand that he have the truck come and remove this piece of garbage from my home if it were me”. And yes, I really did tell her that.
Well apparently I also told my boss and the quality control person because it was one of my “taped” calls. Anyone who has ever worked in a Call Centre knows what they are. For those of you who do not – those are the calls that “May be recorded for quality control and training purposes” calls. Within 10 minutes of the call ending, I was dragged into and office with my boss, her boss and half the quality control department…I guess it’s a BIG nono to tell customers that the appliance they are having so many problems with is a piece of garbage, even if it is! Furthermore, it is also a nono to tell people of Sear’s satisfaction policy.
Needless to say I didn’t work at Sears too much longer after that call!
I have had many run-ins with Corporate Jerks in my life time. Most of them resulted in my demands being met. And yes, there were demands. If I am paying good money then I expected a modicom of service with that purchase. Maybe I am just crazy – it wouldn’ t be the first time! But, what the hell, I am sure that most people work as hard for their money as I do. Don’t we deserve to be treated with some respect if we are willing to spend those hard earned after tax dollars on big ticket items? I’m not talking about chocolate bars for 65 cents at the the buck store, rather hard goods, washers, dryers, stoves, fridges? Or have we become so much of a disposable society that we just don’t care anymore?
Well sorry – but I do care. And I will continue to fight for what I believe in. Call me stupid, pig headed, whatever you want but I work hard for my money damnit – someone is going to have to work extra hard to get it from me!
A lot of people ask me how I survived Esophageal Cancer and I am not sure exactly what to tell them. I had surgery, followed by chemoradiation therapy and am happily here to tell the tale. The surgery was easy – I was asleep for it and after I spent 6 days stoned on hospital grade morphine so I really do not remember much of that. The chemoradiation wasn’t so easy – in fact the chemo almost killed me. My blood component levels were so low at one time that I could have had a heart attack and been dead before I hit the floor. (Luckily I didn’t know it at the time or it probably would have happened from sheer panic). However I managed to fight back and in doing so have become a survivor. At the same time there is always that little voice in the back of my head telling me that I know that EC has one of the highest recurance rates and if it does return my only real option is once again chemo. The little voice isn’t as loud as it used to be and doesn’t rear it’s ugly head as much as before but it is always there. I have learned to ignore it more than anything. I have also learned to get mad at it. How dare it invade my thoughts – I have too many other things to worry about. Cancer be damned. I said from the beginning that I was going to kick this before it kicked me and if that was not to be then I would not go quietly into the next realm but rather kicking and screaming all the way. And I think that attitude got to were I am today. Well at least part way. I would be naive to think that my team of Doctor’s, Nurses and other medical professionals didn’t have a hand it my recovery, as well as my family and friends. But deep down I had this overwhelming urge not to die. In fact, dying was never an option I really ever considered. It did not fit into my plans so there was no way I was going to let a little thing like EC stop me in my tracks.
And I did fight. There were days when I had enough and was done. I didn’t think I could fight any more. I was sick, I was tired, I couldn’t eat, sleep or anything else. My life consisted of lying on the couch praying that it would be over before I had to make yet another bathroom run. They were killing me literally. It took a good 10 minutes to get to the room and then another 10 to get back to the couch and there was only about 20 feet between them. I would get so worn out just getting off the couch that I really didn’t think I could make it across the floor – but I did.
I truly believe that attitude is a major component to getting well from anything. Not just cancer – there are many worse diseases than cancer out there. But being positive does have its drawbacks. If your attitude doesn’t get you the reports you are seeking from your Doctor then it has a nasty habit of disappearing. And then it takes lots of energy to get it back. I know – been there done that. I used to get angry with myself – I didn’t have all that much energy to spare and I needed it for the simple things like breathing and losing my positivity just meant that I would have to find more energy to get it back.
Even if you do manage to get it back, it doesn’t guarantee that you will survive. I have seen too this first hand…and it saddens me. I have lost too many friends to EC who’s attitudes were nothing short of mine and yet…
I have a friend Steve, who is currently in the chemo/rad stage of EC. He is having his chemoradiation before his surgery and his attitude is awesome. It is what it is, he says and each day faces a drive to the hospital, the set up and beaming of radiation and every couple of weeks a chemo protocol. If attitude is the cure for his EC then he is well on his way.
My attitude towards life in general has changed since I was diagnosed with EC. I no longer sweat the little things – if I don’t have to call 911 then I consider it a little thing. I have survived cancer, being labeled “Disabled” thanks to cancer, the breakup of a relationship that I thought would last a lifetime, the deaths of two very close friends in as many weeks and I am surviving the daily ins and outs of caring for two aging Alzhiemer’s aflicted parents. If I didn’t have an attitude I wouldn’t be able to do it. It’s as simple as that.
Why am I writing about attitude today? Because over the last couple of weeks I have let mine slide. I know that I suffer from a form of depression and I take medication for it but lately I find myself not really caring about anything. I get up in the morning, make breakfast for mom and dad and then would happily crawl back into bed if I didn’t have so much to do. And maybe that is the problem. I need my attitude to kick back in so that I can function. So that I can take care of them and get on with life. Sometimes though it really does seem like a lot of bother and for what? This is life, no one gets out alive so why fight it? See what I mean – attitude slide, needs adjustment.
So don’t let your attitude sit back and take a break. If you do, the day you need it the most it will fail you and then what????? Having an attitude doesn’t mean you have to be basty or mean – it just means that you need to stand up for yourself, look whatever it is in the face and tell it – I am not going away, I am going to fight you with everything I have and then some, and when I win you will be gone.
Today is the day I get mine back. I am sick and tired of moping and feeling sorry for myself. The pity party is over. It is time to kick this mood in it’s butt and get on with it. And that’s what I am going to do.
Have a great day. And don’t forget to “spring” your clock ahead an hour tonight or you might be late for whatever you have to do Sunday morning.